Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
