Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
