Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize