There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
