apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
