fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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