i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
