Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
