Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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