did you get engaged???
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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