Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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