Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
