So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
