is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
