i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
