Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
