my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
