He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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