i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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