After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
