I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Your dad touched me again.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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