you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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