He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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