Sponge bath it is.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
