This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My vagina just clenched in fear
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
