We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Alive.
So much puke
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
