is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
