Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
