Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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