with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She bit a glass in half.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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