let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Randomize
