if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Duck Duck Cougar?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
