He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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