We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
