Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
