sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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