hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
