I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish I only lived at night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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