his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize