im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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