I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
