i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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