i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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