fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
