yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk is not a location!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
