His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
