Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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