She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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