He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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