Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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