Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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